Meet Michael Gorillaman, the gorilla runner...
I have been running for 30 years and completed 2 London Marathons, 7 Great North Half Marathons and literally hundreds of other half marathons, 10 mile, 10k, cross-country and assorted other runs and army assault courses.
The week before the Gorilla run I will again be running in Newcastle in the Great North half marathon and then, the day after the Great Gorilla run, will be doing the Run to the Beat half marathon from the 02 Arena in London with my eldest offspring.
Unfortunately, I have to visit the doctor a few times to have eye surgery which will prevent me from doing any training until 5 weeks before the gorilla run. I hope that by gently cycling 20 miles a day and eating a well balanced diet of vegetables, carbohydrates and protein (as well as berries and leaves), I will not totally lose my muscle tone before I can start proper training again.
As with all animals that live a wild life, the years take their toll and my running speed is gradually but noticeably tailing off. I just hope that with the correct combination of food, liquid and exercise I will be able to finish the gorilla run before I am due on the start line for the next day's race.
Over the years, I have experimented with many forms of diet, especially on the morning of a run. The diet has varied from eating nothing to porridge, raisins, bananas, chocolate, jam sandwiches, Mars bars, jelly babies, apricots, energy bars and glucose drinks. However, race results appear to be totally independent of diet.
Similar experiments have been conducted with alcohol levels and it has been established empirically that whether alcohol is withdrawn 12 hours or 12 days before a run, the outcome is the same.
Strangely, following a run, I have little appetite for the first two hours, then a natural in-built preservation reflex takes effect and there is nothing more I like than a plate of chips and gravy on the way to the pub.
Running has been part of my life for so long that if the facility is withdrawn I become listless, moody and sometimes aggressive. This generally manifests itself by a form of a one-way argument where I disagree with everything I read in newspaper or hear people saying on the television, for example:
"Today will be bright and sunny with a maximum temperature of 23 degrees"
"No it won't"
This is probably the first generation in the long history of the gorilla where road running has taken the place of tree-dwelling and it is still too early to tell whether such activity will have a positive or negative effect on my mobility entering old age.
As with other primates, my mental age is considerably younger than my physical age and I have no concept of the ageing process. This may be to my advantage as I constantly try to demonstrate that I am still a fun-loving adolescent that derives great pleasure from performing juvenile pranks that irritate the female of the species and, thus, preserves my youthful mental state and stops me from gently decaying in a semi-permanent state of slumber!
 | Author: | Michael Gorillaman (Michael Gorillaman's profile, Michael Gorillaman's blog) |
 | Posted On: | Tuesday, 21st July '09, 2:00pm |
 | Tags: | Distance Running, Fitness, Genetics, Marathon Training and Running |
 | Comments: | 1 comment, go to comments |
Comments
Sounds like a dedicated
Sounds like a dedicated runner! Good luck with the race :-)