Can't motivate myself anymore.
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16th Nov '08, 5:08pm
Hi all,
First off, if I've posted in the wrong forum my apologies. I've only just registered and still finding my way around but as a first glance this seemed to be the most logical forum for my thread..........
Basically I'm a 35 yr old bloke, who has until the last couple of years been okay fitness\health wise. Nothing exceptional. Prior to my 30's I would say that I was above average fitness wise, after spending some time in HM forces and then working in physically demanding jobs, even after getting an office job I was still playing football 3-4 times a week. Health wise I suffer form Asthma and have been hospitalised twice int he apst couple of years for a couple of day each time, I don't smoke or eat junkfood or fried foods. I don't go for the "full English" any more as they make me feel sick. So diet wise I feel that I'm doing ok. I do like to have a drink and don;t want to have to go tee total as it won't work.
Anyway the past couple years have seen me struggle with depression and I have lost a lot of the enjoyment I used to get from playing sport and just generally exercising, to the point where I now avoid going to the gym and doing any kind of physical exercise. Back int he day i could motivate myself to go running, gym etc, etc. But I know now that the things that worked for me in the past aren't working for me now. I'm a t a point now where the choices I make now will impact my well being when I'm older; If I stay as I am i'm looking at health issues later on. So what I want to do is get back to some level of fitness, but for the first time I don't know how to get there - I lack any real kind of motivation to do anything even though I can visualise what I want to do.
At 35 I know I won't have the same natural fitness I had in my 20's and nowhere near the power I had when i sued to run. That said when I have tried to run recently it's been like trying to run in quick sand - very disheartening. I guess the point is I need to set realsitic goals. I know the gyn is probably not going to work for me, but I have found that I enjoy swimming.
I guess what I want to ask is how the hell do I moativate myself? I've tried to focus ont he health aspect but I seem to have no drive and focus to achive fitness, paradoxically, when I have been to the gym in the past 18 months or so I have found that I can reach and sustain a level of intesnsity for longer than I could at 25.
I hope this hasn't rambled on too much and at least makes some sense. I would welcome any thoughts or comments that you may have.
Thanks for reading.
How's the sex
4th Mar '10, 12:16am
How's the sex life?
Sometimes when being in a relationship, or otherwise, for a lengthy duration and not participating in one of humanity's banal instincts, and getting used to it can be very disheartening to some people.
I would urge you to seek
23rd Mar '10, 11:02pm
I would urge you to seek professional help and treat your depression. Once that is under control you will have your life back again. The changes in your outlook will astound you as will your desire to be exercising again the way you did earlier in your life. Don't let this moment pass, get some assistance with your depression.
Let me know how you are doing. Send a note to the moderator of this panel and they will get in touch with me by going to the head office of pponline. I will get back to you.
Danny
Hello,
24th Mar '10, 6:33am
Whilst you focus on the sports aspect of your lack of motivation, this is a sports board of course - are you similarly depressed in other areas of your life? Or is work and leisure fine and it's only sport and fitness you cannot motivate about?
In other words are you generally depressed, in a clinical, medical, physical way? Or are you using the term to signify that you are lacking motivation in this one area?
If you have a medical depression then it's a physical thing, and you need to seek medical support. It's actually change in the way your brain processes - 'depressed electrical activity' - you aren't firing right (not you, but one isn't firing right) - I found Omega 3 fish oils help day to day - but if you are 'suffering' depression, then you need medical help, and drugs to rectify the imbalances that have caused the electrical issues. And it's a fairly quick and easy rectify too.
If it's just motivation about sport then have a big think about what you would enjoy - if it's swimming, then join a club, or set targets, or do a charity swimathon, or find a partner to swim with, or train as a children's coach.......... personally speaking I got my first horse when I was 40. And suddenly the motivation is there to get out of the front door.
Would you love to try something you never have? Book onto a weeks sea canoeing at Plas Y Brenin? Go do your outdoor mountain leaders award? Take up rock climbing?
Exercise isn't just going to the gym - there is a world of option as an adult, it could be that trying to force yourself to do something you don't get pleasure from causes lack of motivation - seems fairly normal to me.......... change the activity to something you derive huge pleasure from, and the problem goes.
Possible Solution
1st Apr '10, 7:07pm
Hey, London_Exile.
First of all let me start out by saying something you might not like: Half of what you stated is not true. By reading your post I can determine about 90% of your problems don't have real causes, but "you" causes, they are you deciding the situation is bad while there are no real facts that say the situation is bad.
You said you can't run as well as you did before. Is there any physical proof or is it just you thinking that? There might be that psychological factor.
About depression, forget depression. Most psychological problems are not problems at all. Depression implies, for example, that you feel bad regularly.
People in their lives usually feel good, they only feel bad once and again, but if they are labeled depressive, they start feeling bad consistently because they feel they need to fit the label. Drop the depressive label, just consider yourself a "normal person", and most of the depression will vanish by itself - I assure you.
You say how you train nowadays will determine your future as opposed to in the past - I have to disagree on you there. One year or two of difference do not determine your life any more. You don't just "determine a little" your physiology when you're 29 years old and "determine completely" the next year when you're 30. Unless 40 years have passed, I have to tell you there is not that much difference in your training.
There is a difference in the physiology of a 20 year-old and a 50-year-old, but those are MINIMAL differences. Scientists nowadays are placing 70 year-olds on weight training and achieving same results as with 20 and 30-year-olds.
What it would seem to me, from my experience in coaching, is that you just had a break. Suddenly you performance was cut. But instead of getting back up on the horse, you are resisting due to some mental triggers.
I would first check for psychological reasons. Sometimes it's just the thought "it's too hard and I'm afraid". But we don't want to assume we're afraid, so we seek other causes, excuses. "Oh, I'm older, so I can't train as well". "Oh, it's colder nowadays, so I can't train as well". "Oh, the economy's worse, so I can't train as well".
I would recommend you be honest with yourself, get to the root of the problem. Am I afraid I won't be as good as before? Yes. I admit it and will make effort. If you are humble, go deep down into yourself you will identify what's keeping you from progressing and you will make progress much faster.
I would assume your are taking much for granted. Usual signs of that is you stating "I already tried everything", or "what used to work doesn't work anymore". We have the choice to determine whether something satisfies us or not.
You can live in the same place for 50 years, but each new day you can look at the scenery and either think "there is beauty that hasn't been seen before" or think "I've seen all there is to see".
One thing I would recommend to you is that you stop your usual exercises for the moment, practice deep diaphragmatic breathing for better oxygenation and mind capacity (depression, or just negative states overall are depressive because you breathe shallow and you numb your senses).
So, oxygenate better so you feel more alive again, travel if possible - travel is very therapeutic - can be just one day in an unknown town to a full week in a different country - depends on your possibilities, find a new hobby or something that motivates you outside of your sports life (learn a new language, learn a new skill - cooking, public speaking), as long as it doesn't compromise your training.
Then try to renew everything you know. See everything you already know through a new and empowered lens. Train in the same places but consider them brand new. Meet the same people but consider them brand new. Imagine this is the the first day of the rest of your life.
This is, naturally, just my opinion and open to critique. But I figure it will help you deeply.